Happy Gratitude Weekend Internetland. Spread the love...
Friday, November 27, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Secret secrets of THE SECRET revealed
Seriously, both this guy's sense of humor and his accent make me need a cigarette...
A Sausage Press For Two
Okay, here’s my two cents on The Secret and the Law of Attraction. The Secret is a very simplistic, cliff notes view of a spiritual principle that is one of the things that I was not able to toss out when I decided that All Things Spiritual = All Things Bullshit.
The Law of Attraction, the belief that we create our own reality, does not exist to just get us cool stuff. It is not about having hot red sports cars and diamond tiaras drop from the sky merely because we think about them. It is about being conscious of our thoughts and feelings and being the masters of our inner worlds. When we really achieve that, miracles happen because of what we have chosen and what we have changed internally.
We get what we put out – if we are kind and loving and generous we get more of that in return than not. We are what we think – if we are positive and joyful we’re going to have, and be, more and more of the same (good luck having a positive and joyful life if you are a grumpy asshole). And we attract people and experiences that are in alignment with who we are allowing ourselves to be – if we insist on living a certain kind of life we just won’t tolerate or, after a while, even notice anything different.
It’s not magic, it’s just the way things work. But, to me, the results that occur from truly changing one’s emotional make up, one’s inner life experience, can only be described as magical.
Example: The Relationship. The act of making space in our closets, putting up a pair of candles in our bedroom, maybe sleeping on one side of the bed IS NOT going to make the partner of our dreams magically appear. What it IS going to do is raise our relationship comfort level and create room psychically to actually allow a partner in when they do show up. We will be a little less selfish, a little less afraid, a little less apt to allow our screaming committment issues to overwhelm and sabotage. We’ll be a little more ready and a little more willing to see something we might otherwise be blind to had we not done a few simple things to change our minds and hearts about being alone.
It’s not about visualizing a physical thing and… BAM! There it is. But, oh how I wish it were. That sausage press trick totally kicks ass.
The Law of Attraction, the belief that we create our own reality, does not exist to just get us cool stuff. It is not about having hot red sports cars and diamond tiaras drop from the sky merely because we think about them. It is about being conscious of our thoughts and feelings and being the masters of our inner worlds. When we really achieve that, miracles happen because of what we have chosen and what we have changed internally.
We get what we put out – if we are kind and loving and generous we get more of that in return than not. We are what we think – if we are positive and joyful we’re going to have, and be, more and more of the same (good luck having a positive and joyful life if you are a grumpy asshole). And we attract people and experiences that are in alignment with who we are allowing ourselves to be – if we insist on living a certain kind of life we just won’t tolerate or, after a while, even notice anything different.
It’s not magic, it’s just the way things work. But, to me, the results that occur from truly changing one’s emotional make up, one’s inner life experience, can only be described as magical.
Example: The Relationship. The act of making space in our closets, putting up a pair of candles in our bedroom, maybe sleeping on one side of the bed IS NOT going to make the partner of our dreams magically appear. What it IS going to do is raise our relationship comfort level and create room psychically to actually allow a partner in when they do show up. We will be a little less selfish, a little less afraid, a little less apt to allow our screaming committment issues to overwhelm and sabotage. We’ll be a little more ready and a little more willing to see something we might otherwise be blind to had we not done a few simple things to change our minds and hearts about being alone.
It’s not about visualizing a physical thing and… BAM! There it is. But, oh how I wish it were. That sausage press trick totally kicks ass.
Friday, November 20, 2009
The Secret Saved My Life
This is an honest to God real book review on Amazon. Best review of a book I have ever read. And, the fact that it was written about The Secret gave me Happygasms all over. Val, this made my day!
The Secret Saved My Life
By Ari Brouillette
Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.
At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.
My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.
Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.
The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.
The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.
The Secret Saved My Life
By Ari Brouillette
Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.
At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.
My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.
Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.
The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.
The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.
Friday Video: Apache (Tommy Seebach)
The lead singer. Oh. My. God. There is not enough alcohol in the WORLD...
National Hug A Mormon Day
According to Facebook, today is National Hug A Mormon Day. The event page states "This is a day when you need to hug as many Mormons you know! This is just for fun so please be respectful and go out there and hug as many Mormons as you can! Oh, and invite as many people as you can!!!!!" OMG and LOL!
As many Mormons as I know??? Seriously??? Here in Utah, that is a freaking all day service project. I'll hug my kids and call it a day. I'm personally saving up for Orgasm Day. Now if it were National Goose a Mormon Day and I was allowed to be disrespectful... Hang on...
Okay, who's up for National Jell-O Wrestle a Mormon Day?
As many Mormons as I know??? Seriously??? Here in Utah, that is a freaking all day service project. I'll hug my kids and call it a day. I'm personally saving up for Orgasm Day. Now if it were National Goose a Mormon Day and I was allowed to be disrespectful... Hang on...
Okay, who's up for National Jell-O Wrestle a Mormon Day?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Mark Morford: Sex Tape Tips From Carrie Prejean
Remember when I rabidly disagreed with self righteous and homophobic puppet Miss California Carrie Prejean - but at least gave her a nod for having the balls to not talk out of both sides of her mouth? Well, it turns out she's been doing something else out of both sides of her mouth. On tape. 7+ times...Leave it to my like minded, equally smart assed, hero Mark Morford to mock her in the manner in which she should now be accustomed.
Bless her heart. And her coochie.
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